417-417 NEW HOPES FOR BOB RAE

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After a recent micro-surgeon's conference in Toronto, several leading surgeons started reminiscing at the Hotel bar, about their greatest feats of cloning. The first, a B.C. surgeon, stated:

We had a chap caught in a printing press at a factory last year and all that was left of him was his little finger. Our team of surgeons constructed a new hand, built a new arm and engineered a new body. Ultimately, when he returned to work, he was so efficient that he put five men out of work.

The second surgeon, who was from Newfoundland, said:

That's nothing! We had a worker trapped inside a nuclear reactor and all that was left of him was some hair. We constructed a new skull, a new torso, and new limbs and were able to place him back into the workforce. He is now so efficient that he has put fifty men out of work.

The third surgeon, from Ontario, not wanting to be outdone, stated:

I was walking down the street about a year ago when a fart was passed. I took it back to the hospital in a garbage bag, let it loose on the operating table, and our surgical team got right to work. First of all we wrapped an asshole around it, built a bum into it, attached a body to one end and legs to the other, and gradually it turned into Bob RAE. We let him loose in the workforce and he put the whole fucking Province out of work.

BOB MEETS NEMESIS NEAR GREAT WALL OF CHINA

'BEIJING - There is a sign posted at the entrance to China's Great Wall which reads: Beware of pickpockets.
Ontario Premier Bob Rae, glancing at it quickly, thought it said: Beware of picketers' (Toronto Star, 8 November 1994).